Diary (4)Written on July 14th, 2023 by Ludwig Huang
Thoughts about individuals and communication.
— This post is full of confusion and meaningless definition identification: not worth of reading. The reason why I do not write in Chinese is that in previous post, I announced that I would be a pragmatist and devoted myself into real world. Evidently, this post breaks the vulnerable “law”.
A question is hovering in my mind: is it just because I cannot admit myself (personality, education, class, …), or because indeed, there is a strong desire driving myself to address the big problem that is “how can we really understand another individual” ?
I am just confused about myself and this blog: who are the target readers of this blog? what is the real meaning of so-called individual in my context? how do we communicate without any burden?
“Who is individual” is asking me that who I am writing for and trying to understand.
At first, I thought individual was a person without any ideologies. However, it was quiet obscured due to ideology. In my mind, ideology is the structure of thoughts, which results our feelings to almost everything except love (namely, the sublime and beauty). We may have the ability to understand the pure individual without any disturbances. It is evident that understanding originates from something but love. The definition is filled with paradoxes.
Anyways, who is individual? From the target readers’ perspectives, individual is a person who is willing to read my articles, read Dostoevsky, understand why Kierkegaard chose to break off, acknowledge that the underground man had his difficulties… It is ridiculous to persuade readers to accept this opinion, so it becomes a thing of past. For now, target readers expand to everyone, because I am trying to write for everyone and provide a new view of point. Who am I trying to understand? Also everyone.
Thus, individual seems meaningless.
But when it comes to real communication, everything changes.
A person is an individual, but a person talking to others may not be an individual. It works in my case, so I always avoid real communication due to my ridiculous thoughts disturbing me. We are talking to each other, while also thinking about things related to us. It is hard for me not to think about other things, even they are not related to this conversation anymore.
To communicate without any burden means that I can only talk on specific topic. I want to change the terrible situation.
Sorry, I am afraid of writing my real thoughts which make me look sick and weak.